When we lived in Montana for a few seasons of life, I was invited to attend a few Powwows. They spoke to me.

With Cooper’s passing, I often find myself turning to art, listening to music, reading poetry—trying to find the words to express the deep place of hurt inside me.

I found a video that comes close. It’s a video of Native Americans at a Powwow grieving the loss of a family member.

I imagine my wife and I, my brother, my dad, my nephew, my sons and daughter, and a few of Cooper’s close friends—Ethan, Jacob, Jonathan, Chase, Nik, and Abby—sitting around this drum. We have a picture of Cooper in the center of the drum.

We breathe deep, go deep into ourselves, turn right, and then drop down again to another layer of depth in our hearts, and we sing in honor of our boy and let our tears flow.

Del otro lado, Cooper smiles. Our voices get through.

Bless the Poundmakers.¹ Thank you for giving voice to what I am having difficulty expressing.

1. “Poundmakers Tribute Song to Devere Tsatoke, FSIN Powwow 2011.” YouTube, uploaded by HIGH50CIETY, 8 Oct. 2011, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib1WC43g0Zs ↩︎